Thursday, December 30, 2010

Hard Boiled

Walking on eggshells
Careful, its an art.
One that takes practice and experience.
First, you crack the protective layer and then slowly peel it away.
The shell is now ready to be broken into pieces.
Lay them on the floor. Spread before you.
Now they're ready. A mosaic of jagged sharpness.
Careful it's gonna hurt. Not just the first time, but the second too.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Four Friends

I found this tonight as I was going through some of my older pieces of writing. I wrote this for a friends wedding a few years ago now. There were four of us who grew up together and we were the best of friends. Fighting, laughing, forgiving and learning we had some great moments shared together. We have since gone our separate ways, but no matter what we always seem to find a way to get together. No matter the time that passes where we don't speak as often as we would like we know the connection is still there. I miss you guys and hope you remember as much as I do.

One group made up of four
Their personalities as different as the grains of sand upon which they grew
A friendship held strong through the toughest of years
They made it through fights; they made it through tears

No matter what, they were always there
The bond between them strong; they laughed, lived and loved
Sharing joys which had a meaning that only they would know
With hands held tight, walking into the future, they found the way to grow

And now they are older
Their lives hectic with time going by, trying to make the memories last
Friends who could share everything by always speaking their minds
Are now sharing in a moment that is only one of a kind

Today the world is right
As one of the four starts her own journey, taking a new path in life
So today is now your day, with the bond between us strong
And as close friends we feel the love, you're right where you belong

So in this special moment
We hope each soul will find, another soul to love, a love that surely binds
And as the river meets the ocean and the waves beat onto the sand
Always remember that today and always the four of us still stand


Existing within the pulse of pain
and hacked from beneath the raw edges
your walls take shape.
The path of departure is that of a matchless night.

A vanilla latte please.

This weekend started with a plan. I was going to sit in and do nothing but study. It worked Friday night and most of Saturday until about 8 o'clock Saturday evening when I went over to my friend Roach's for an espresso making party. Four of us got together to do nothing but eat a delicious array of cream cheese spreads and drink different flavored espresso's. It was a great time! Midnight rolled around and as Roach can do (like no other can) guilted me into staying the night so we could get up and have a waffle/crepe party for breakfast! Izzy (the dog) and Allison came back over in the morning and we started back at it. Cooking up a storm of crepes, blueberry waffles and eggs with cheese. Once finished with our extravagant breakfast we decided to pop in the movie The Holiday. Which if anyone hasn't seen this Christmas holiday movie, you have too. It's just good. I can't say anything other  than that. It's just good. So we all curled up on the couch with our coffee's and swore that once it was over we would return to our "normal" lives, get showered and go about the day. It didn't turn out that way. (which it should have considering I should have been studying) We then went and got the movie Eat Pray Love and Catch and Release. I had read the book Eat Pray Love and at the time of reading it (almost 3 years ago now) it was what I needed. The beginning and end were great, but it was the in between that took a long time to read. Mostly because it wasn't what I wanted to hear and didn't interest me. However, watching the movie today there was a part of the "in between" that I, after almost 3 years. When we make decisions in our lives sometimes those decisions hurt people. We don't want to hurt them and it isn't intentional, but in trying to help ourselves (which most of the time we think is selfish and wrong) we end up hurting them. Then we wait. We wait for them to forgive us so that we can then forgive ourselves. During that waiting period, we torment ourselves with blame. We blame ourselves for feeling the way we did and for the actions we took. They're going to hurt.We need to understand that. We're going to hurt too. But if no one forgives anyone, where does it leave both parties? Waiting. Dwelling. Unhappy and on a road towards bitterness and resentment. Forgiveness has to be from both sides. It may not always happen, but we can't control the actions or feelings of other people. So we need to forgive ourselves and hope that they too will forgive us, but within that hope we can't allow it to consume the new relationships we develop or ourselves. That wonderful cliche saying "Time heals all wounds" is fortunately true. It doesn't mean we forget, it just means we forgive.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Good night Thursday

I don't want to ramble on about the things that have not gone so great in the past few months, but I will say today I had just about had it. Sitting on the couch tonight telling myself not to cry because it could be worse I realized tomorrow is Friday. Why is that special? It's not. But it is a new day and tomorrow I'll write something happy.

The wind
it's blowing
it's so loud
So loud you can hardly hear yourself think
You have to yell for anyone to hear you
it's drowning out my voice
I can't be heard
it stops
I'm still yelling, but still not being heard.