Real love is a choice

" No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice."

Isn't it?

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time. And always, one more time.” — Maya Angelou

This is what I want – and have wanted to believe in. Sometimes, it’s harder to do then say. For anyone who has ever loved and lost, and loved and lost again, it can be hard to comprehend that this could ever be possible. But a life without love is incomplete; love is always worth it…isn't it?

I know that there is no all-encompassing formula for relationships, as the diversity between people these days ensures no possible algorithm for success. Relationships change, fail, and face struggles, and sometimes we change into someone we clearly are not in order to fit our partners’ ideals.  It is hard to believe that anyone would ever be worth the risk of going through all of it again. But, a life without love is incomplete; love is always worth it… isn’t it?

I took time after a certain relationship and reflected on and re-evaluated every variable that didn't serve me or that relationship. This made me well aware of the intricacies involved in maintaining a partnership that would survive the minute details of daily life.  Going through that experience taught me what I could and couldn't handle.  I defined new limits which would detail how far I would be willing to go for the one I loved, and the places I knew I couldn't venture.  This is why I believe so strongly in the depths that I know I would go for that person and why. Because a life without love is incomplete; love is always worth it…isn't it?

I thought the second time around I would get to guide myself towards someone who fit within my limits, and that my standards would never waiver.  I know no one in this world will ever be perfect, but I thought that my experiences had defined exactly what I knew would be perfect for me.  I started to draw confidence from all the elements of my personality which some have labelled as flaws, because this next time I would find the person who revelled in every detail of what made me who I am.  That someone would know I would be incomplete without all those integral components, flaws and all.  

Don't look for someone to “complete you” or check off all your boxes; instead, learn how to complete yourself, before looking for someone who can share in that completeness.  Because a life without love is incomplete; love is always worth it. 

A Reminder

I hadn't realized it had been so long. Words, phrases and sentences are always going through my mind. It's writing them down that I neglect. Sometimes scared of how permanent it can be. Remembering to remember is hard. Remembering to forget is harder. But one thing I'm always reminded of is - 

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together"