Sunday, December 5, 2010

A vanilla latte please.

This weekend started with a plan. I was going to sit in and do nothing but study. It worked Friday night and most of Saturday until about 8 o'clock Saturday evening when I went over to my friend Roach's for an espresso making party. Four of us got together to do nothing but eat a delicious array of cream cheese spreads and drink different flavored espresso's. It was a great time! Midnight rolled around and as Roach can do (like no other can) guilted me into staying the night so we could get up and have a waffle/crepe party for breakfast! Izzy (the dog) and Allison came back over in the morning and we started back at it. Cooking up a storm of crepes, blueberry waffles and eggs with cheese. Once finished with our extravagant breakfast we decided to pop in the movie The Holiday. Which if anyone hasn't seen this Christmas holiday movie, you have too. It's just good. I can't say anything other  than that. It's just good. So we all curled up on the couch with our coffee's and swore that once it was over we would return to our "normal" lives, get showered and go about the day. It didn't turn out that way. (which it should have considering I should have been studying) We then went and got the movie Eat Pray Love and Catch and Release. I had read the book Eat Pray Love and at the time of reading it (almost 3 years ago now) it was what I needed. The beginning and end were great, but it was the in between that took a long time to read. Mostly because it wasn't what I wanted to hear and didn't interest me. However, watching the movie today there was a part of the "in between" that I, after almost 3 years. When we make decisions in our lives sometimes those decisions hurt people. We don't want to hurt them and it isn't intentional, but in trying to help ourselves (which most of the time we think is selfish and wrong) we end up hurting them. Then we wait. We wait for them to forgive us so that we can then forgive ourselves. During that waiting period, we torment ourselves with blame. We blame ourselves for feeling the way we did and for the actions we took. They're going to hurt.We need to understand that. We're going to hurt too. But if no one forgives anyone, where does it leave both parties? Waiting. Dwelling. Unhappy and on a road towards bitterness and resentment. Forgiveness has to be from both sides. It may not always happen, but we can't control the actions or feelings of other people. So we need to forgive ourselves and hope that they too will forgive us, but within that hope we can't allow it to consume the new relationships we develop or ourselves. That wonderful cliche saying "Time heals all wounds" is fortunately true. It doesn't mean we forget, it just means we forgive.


  1. 'Eat, Pray, Love' was a much needed read for me too. I remember there were parts where I literally just broke down because it wasn't what I wanted to hear but I realized it was right.
    Forgiving yourself is harder than anything I hope I ever have to go through.


  2. I agree with you, hurt is a hard thing to forgive, we think its intentional, when it couldn't be further from the truth. Hurt comes from not understanding or listening to possibly an explantion or only hearing or seeing what you want to, it's terribly difficult to overcome when hurt comes from a loved one. I wish I would of figured this out a long time ago because my hurt might not of hurt so much and healing could of been easier and quicker. Now that the hurt and the diapointment is gone I can honestly say I forgive completly, took me a while to say that but its so true in my situation. Its weird how as like yourself you can write and say things now and not worry about others comments or opinions and its yours that's what matters the most. I say this to you because I just wrote this and have never told her that I understand and can appreciate where she was coming from. Maybe in time I will muster up the courage to say it but as for now you get my thoughts.