Saturday, August 6, 2011


Actions of deceit and cruelty
Embarrassment beyond compare
Morals and values, worthless
Tolerance to this kind of behavior is unheard of
Forgiveness does not seem to be an option
Forget the illusion it must have been
The illusion of kindness, that masked this treachery
There could be no humanity hidden within
Not now
It's gone
All that is left are words that describe a  person of unimaginable performance
who "left nice back in December"

Letters I never sent

You were that person
I didn't know it
and all I gave you was a goodbye
Wish I had seen it
Wish I had been ready for it
Wish I could have calculated how to start again
and I understand why you backed away
Why you went so far away

I think back to that day often
My hand on the door knob
looking for my escape
Now, wishing I could take it back

I remember how the room smelled
How the room looked
Where everything was placed
The memories in that room

You could have been it
I would never have questioned it
and you stood there silently wishing I would see it

You made me feel like I could do no wrong,
but I did........

I wasn't ready
and I hate him for that

I think about October all the time

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


I won your heart
and finally you let me in
I tasted your kiss
and you wrapped your arms around me

I looked at you
and you looked back
I held your hand
and you didn't let go

I smiled at you
and you smiled back
I'd stare at you
and you'd always catch me

I'd lose hope
and you'd reassure me
I'd sometimes fall
but you were right behind me

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011

Back again!

Well it has been quite a while since I actually posted a piece of writing. It is not for the fact that I have stopped writing, it is only my lack of transferring it from my note book to here. But I am going to be much more diligent in setting aside the time to really sit, write and share.

I need to write it down
get it out there
express it
But I want it to stop
Please stop....

You had shut off your emotions
You didn't feel
You say I opened you to feeling again
I'm sorry
Why sorry? ............because it did the same to me

Gushing words, describing words,
being written down on ink
It's permanent when written down
The words now spoken out loud
and you know what happens when you say things out loud

It stops
It ruins it
Taints it
Be careful of what you write down

Monday, March 28, 2011

Sunday, January 30, 2011


What would you say, in a letter left to those you loved?
If you were never going to see them again.
Are there things you haven't said?
Are there feelings not expressed?
Do you care more than you've shown?
Why haven't you let them know?
Maybe they're writing their own letter;
because they don't know, they don't think you care.

Friday, January 28, 2011


Water, I want to be like water. Strong enough to hold up a ship, but able to slip through your fingers

Saturday, January 22, 2011


You were there.
You know what it was like.
That time was hard for you too.
I'm sorry I forgot that.

Concentrating so much on my hurt,
I forgot about yours.
How your heart hurt.
Your soul abandoned.

Now so many days later,
years actually,
I stopped and thought about you
and cried at my forgetfulness.

Why did I think of this now?
I saw you,
you didn't see me.
You were in a sea of faces.

I wonder if you hate me for it?
If you ever think back
and think how far away I was from you.
Even though I was standing right beside you.

I wonder if there will ever be a moment
where it is ever mentioned between us?
Would there be a silence?
A silence enough for you to know my sorrow.
My sorry.

You looked happy.
Maybe you've forgotten.
It may not even hold presence in your thoughts.
I know the day does, but maybe not me.

If floods back into mine often.
Not just of you, but everything about then.
The moment when all of our lives were vastly emptied by loss.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

White like surf

I am black as if bereaved of light, my tears swallowed by the sea.
But the sea is calm tonight, to set its struggling passion free.

On the table

He knows those are my favorite

The frustration that built while we argued - intense
I wanted to slam the door in his face - forget
      He was wrong
      I was right

The argument escalated into a frenzy of words
and I uncouthly said words I regret

I walked back and forth, throwing my arms up in the air
As he repetitively defended his actions
That dent in the wall is evidence

He knows those are my favorite. I knew he would give in.

Monday, January 3, 2011

G.M. V

There have been so many aboard.
What are your stories?
Why did you come here?
Why did you leave here?

Names on wood next to hardened gum.
Just to be remembered,
to say "I've been here"

What did you think Ben Quinlan?
Did you appreciate the beauty?
Did you take it all in?
The smells the sights?
There are stories here.

Did you sit where I'm sitting?
Did you walk any of the same paths?
Looking out the window I wonder if you dreamed.

This place is different, but good.
A long ways away.
Nothing is here,
but every thing you need.


It was hard saying goodbye
But you needed it, I didn't want it
Still don't
I hope it helps
I hope it hurts
I hope it makes a difference
Miss me just a little
Enough that you think of me
I don't want to be forgettable
Easily replaceable